Some refer to porn as “erotica” and promote it as a way to enhance passion in a loving relationship. It is rarely seen as a threat to intimacy and connection. Yet, it is. Whether porn is being viewed together or separately, it will drive a wedge between lovers.
The title of this book speaks volumes. It refers to porn as “virtual infidelity“. We bond to whoever/whatever we have sex with. During sexual arousal and orgasm, oxytocin is released in our body. It is a bonding agent. We attach to the object of our sexual focus. Like a mama bear with a cub, oxytocin works to keep us loyal and fighting for our beloved. It’s important we bond with the one we promise to love, honor, and cherish. Otherwise, we will turn on our beloved. That’s the dark side of oxytocin. Having lived with someone addicted to porn, I experienced this phenomenon again and again.
Marriage researchers Drs. John & Julie Gottman, recently published an open letter to porn on their relationship blog. They are relationship experts that work to create greater love and health in relationships. John Gottman is world renowned for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction. This is a significant warning from an award winning, influential therapist.
Our culture makes light of porn. It minimizes porn, tolerates it, and even celebrates it. Yet, there is growing concern. The latest issue of TIME magazine addressed the concern and reported on an increasing number of young men experiencing erectile dysfunction when trying to have sex with a real partner. If they look at porn – – problem goes away. These men are experiencing a consequence that ultimately sabotages the deep longing of their heart. Every human heart wants real love. These men are activists sounding the alarm and advocating for change. The impact on relationships can no longer be ignored.
Check out this blog: To The Women with Whom He “Didn’t Cheat” and hear the truth… porn is cheating. Let’s advocate for Real Love. #lovehonorcherish