Last summer, I logged onto the Divorce Care website. I had seen the group advertised on various church buildings, but knew little about it. Having benefitted from support groups in the past, I was eager to walk this road with others who could understand and relate to me. In addition, I heard there was a DC4K (Divorce Care for Kids) program. I wanted my kids to know they weren’t alone and have support as well.
I typed my zip code into the finder and discovered multiple groups in my city. I called the contact number for one of the groups and talked to the leader for about an hour on the phone telling her my sob story. Her willingness to listen and invitation to the group confirmed my desire to attend. It was an exceptionally good decision.
Divorce Care is a 13 week support group designed to help people “find hope and healing for the hurt of separation and divorce”. Our group launched in September and ended with a Christmas party in December. The first meeting was raw and uncomfortable. We were strangers exposing our shame, grief, confusion, and brokenness to one another. However, as the weeks went by, trust and safety grew. We needed each other and came to value those sacred 2 hours every Wednesday night.
We took turns bringing food, sat in a circle, and shared about ourselves. Eventually, our leaders would start the 30 min. video. Topics varied week to week: Anger, Loneliness, Healing, Depression, Forgiveness, Moving on, Financial Survival, KidCare, New Relationships, Single Sexuality, and Reconciliation. The videos included interviews which I found powerful. It was helpful to hear from a variety of voices – – men and women – – who experienced divorce. Expert authors and counselors were also interviewed. The best part, though, was the discussion that ensued in our group following each video. We vented. We laughed. We cried. We drew strength and hope from one another.
While the adults met upstairs, our kids met downstairs in a youth room. They were hearing every week “it’s not your fault”. They had their own leader, own video series, and own discussion time.
Divorce Care is overtly Christian and at times a little cheesy in the fervor for others to know Christ. Nonetheless, I do recommend this resource to anyone going through separation or divorce.
My DC friends are a gift in the wound. I treasure their friendships. Now when we see each other, we raise a glass and toast to new beginnings.